Dealing with Coronavirus

We are living during a pretty remarkable time in history. The global coronavirus pandemic has affected every part of our day-to-day business. School, work, church, stores, travel, regular socialization; the list goes on. There have even been months-long food and supply shortages (tp, flour, hand sanitizer, dish soap, I'm looking at you).

It hasn't been the most serene time for our family either. We've had multiple earthquakes, which was really bizarre. But they've left enough of an impression that whenever Nate gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I wake up a little panicked when he returns to the bed and tosses and turns to get comfortable, thinking that we're having another one.

A couple weeks ago a huge water pipe burst on our street and blew a hole in the asphalt and shot up in a 30 foot geyser until they got it shut off. We were without water all day long and were sure grateful that we'd stored a little in our basement!

Also our water heater kicked the bucket. We were excited and grateful to be able to figure out how to take care of getting a new one and also keep our financial well-being intact. The day after our new water heater was installed, we found out that we need a new furnace, a/c, and humidifier, too! Thanks to lots of research and creativity on Nate's part, and the good advice his Dad gave us to shop around, we're going to make that one work, too. But financially, the stress has been quite present.

It's been difficult for our children to adjust to online school. It's no fun! Some of them have really struggled to organize themselves and stay on top of work. They have also suddenly been given basically unlimited access to their own personal screen and have had to work on controlling themselves and being trustworthy with that privilege. Emotions have been pretty high at times because they miss their friends, and because they're constantly cooped up. They miss their teachers, too. And they're all missing the fun part of the year - field trips, choir concerts, field day, etc. It's especially the pits for Addison, who is finishing up his last year of elementary school, and for Asa who is in kindergarten. Poor little guys!

Nate and I have struggled to figure out how to give him the space he needs to work from home, but also to give me the space I need to do the same. Our house is not quiet. Our toddler is opinionated and vocal about it. He frequently attends meetings in our bedroom closet with his back to the door so that no one can burst in on him. And some afternoons I'd like nothing more than to sneak up to my room, shut the door, and just take a second to have some space and quiet my brain. But there's Nate! And if we're in the same room, we've got to exchange pleasantries and catch up. So it can be hard for both of us to find space not only to do what we need to do, but also to recharge.

All that said, we're pretty happy. Which is kind of insane. I've been puzzling over why this is. What's the secret formula that's helping us to be okay? What tips can I pass along to my future self for next time? Here are a few things I've come up with.

1. Go outside. Every day. At least once.

Bring the kids along sometimes. Go by yourself sometimes. Go as a couple sometimes. Go one-on-one with a child here and there. Walking to the mailbox and back inside does not count. It doesn't matter what the weather is. It's like magic. It recharges me every time. Even if it's snowing and windy. Bundle up and get out there!

A warm afternoon and an open fire hydrant were welcome excitement for us one day!

Bryn soaking it in.

2. Count on each other. This includes your spouse and your children.

My entire mornings are spent keeping Emmeline out of the school kids' grills while they're trying to get their work done. It is totally exhausting. I can't leave her side for 5 seconds at a time. That makes it really hard for me to clean and order groceries and make phone calls and do all the other things that I need to do. Out of necessity, I've had to count on my kids to help me - more so than usual. They can cut the grass or clean the bathroom. They can do play doh with Emmie while I jump in the shower. They can switch laundry and mop and load the dishwasher and water the garden. And that is such a blessing to me. And in turn it's a blessing to them, because I can take a breath, relax my brain, and be nicer and more understanding to them.

And of course there's Nate. When he and I are working together, we are seriously unstoppable. He is always looking for ways to help me balance the burdens that are on my shoulders so they don't all come crashing down. And he's endlessly patient with my far from perfect housekeeping.

Also, he gave me a haircut!

3. Shake things up. You all gotta recharge.

Even this girl!

Go for a hike. Put the kids in bed, leave the oldest one in charge, and drive around the neighborhood looking at all the flowering trees with Nate. Let the kids loose to explore the woods. Relax the bedtimes and stay up and play games with the older kids. Wrestle with the six-year-old when work is done. Let Emmie watch Daniel Tiger. Nate and I have been watching movies during the week as if they were shows - about half an hour at a time. Our favorite thing is to have Bryn listen out for the little ones after bedtime while we sneak over to Cutler's to get a cookie.

On a hot date to get a cookie at the Cutler's drive-through in our sock feet.

A quick lunch date

Nate and I have tried to be sensitive to each other's ever-changing stress levels and carve out space for alone time. I'll get a half hour to read here, Nate gets a little hike there. It's saved us!

We also made a list of things we want to do as a family and have been chipping away at it. It's been really fun to do new things together. Generally speaking, they have been cheap or free and pretty low-key, because they're mostly at home or close by.

Luckily we ended up with a kids' cookbook from the library during all this, and one night the kids took over the kitchen and made "meat sundaes" and slushies! It was really yummy!

We roasted some good marshmallows.

Family "crazy hair day."

We hiked to the top of a water tower and played tag.

4. Exercise. Regularly. With a buddy if possible.

My running buddy, Lisa, has carried me through this insanity with her wit and smarts and stories about how her household isn't running any more smoothly than mine. We talk about plants and dyeing hair and how we're pretty much okay being at home all the time. It's so refreshing. And Nate and I and occasionally a child or two bust our behinds doing Les Mills on Saturdays. Endorphins + friendship are a magical cure for what ails me.

We've gone on lots of family walks. Argueably Emmie's favorite attraction in the neighborhood is this statue of a deer. One of the ears is formed out of duct tape.

5. Find a project or two.

We've worked really hard in our house and yard over the last couple months and it's been really gratifying. It's nice to be able to see measurable progress when most of life seems to be in stasis. It's also turning our home and yard into places we want to hang out.

6. Serve where you can.

We got to participate in the Church's Project Protect. We made 100 medical grade masks in five days to donate to healthcare workers. It was a huge undertaking, but it got us all involved in something bigger than ourselves, and helped us feel like we're not totally powerless. We've also had neighbors find ways to reach out to us and have been so touched and lifted by their efforts to do so. We're not alone.